awecx
Friday, April 17, 2009, 9:04 PM
Sleep Time: 7.30am
Woke Time:11.48am
4hours 18mins of slp....guess this is what happen when things are going on, on my mind
right now im like the nicole highway boss, get my workers to build a bridge,
and giving the wrong orders or becuz of my stupidity, i just ruined everything,
bridge collapse, trust died, confidence on me stood low, words really can be KILLERS
things just happen within split seconds, unable to react to it.
Guess now what? shd i be happy or not?
from what ur words are, its seems that u wanna scare me off
not sure if im acting tough and cool, or just wanting everrthing to be like a tv drama?
now im really shaken, first time in my life, so afraid of losing something
to think i can be so tough with u, saying words which i just thought i could type
afterall it sure take lots more courage to present these words to u
are u really going to scare me off? what are u going to do?
millions of it popping up, the moment i closed my eyes, i open within mins
couldnt get to slp, guess i know whats going on, i just cant say ignore, and totally ignoring it
im feeling so empty now...guess thats what u wanna leave me with, so ill leave silently
just like how u want me too...do u really want me to leave? after 7weeks of getting along?
but i guess to u, the 7weeks long bridge was destroy within the split seconds.
now im having a headache...i have ruined everything i build, now i totally regret it...
cant believe this, when good things happen, they happen once and for all, when its bad,
it just come topple one after another...guess now is the bad period. so i expected, things
are gonna turn sour sooner or later, gotta be mentally prepared for it.
till now, im not ready to give up, are u? are u gonna do what i said earlier on?
scare me off with ur drinking? smoking? cold shoulder? scolding? threatening?
how i wish things wont change now...now im starting to regret to ask u to change
becuz im just like u, still unable to adapt to the new changes that took place,
most impt, any wrong step could result in losing u again...just like now...
afterall, what i hope from u is that u wont shun away from me, though u have given up on me,
i still wanna try...and the funny thing is, i dont even know where to start.
u said u wanted things to clear, so u can have a clear goal, but im not sure where u r in the mist too...u said u wanted to adapt to new style of life when sch reopens, i hope the sch workload will take ur mind off some stuffs. IDEPENDENCE, this word really kills you and me...now i know, how hard, alot of you out there have been trying to get closed to me, cuz i used to be like that, secured in my own world, not even my family members can get near to me, till everyone single one of them who didnt give up on me shows me what they are, and this is where i am today. so am i able to be able to break this walls of urs, and rebuild my bridge once again? definitely, ill be building it all alone, but it doesnt matter, becuz i need time to build it, u need time for the mist to clear too...just hope that i wont get any cold shoulder from u that would be the greatest reward to me...afterall, its me who did part of the duty to bring u back to square one again, where u are, back at one...
Labels: I'm Sorry
