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ytd nv blog cuz went out to study at mac for last sup....well only studied part of it cuz too stress up over the paper cuz dun understand whats going on...and on the other hand, was affected by emotions....anyway ytd pauto was good ba...didnt manage to work it out on my own but lucky my classmate did it and i manage to escape this sem pass sup due to his help...damm it...stupid me...cant even solve such a simple lab work....today went for dynamics paper was a flunk ba...at first i followed the revision paper formula turn out actually the formula was given in the formula sheet, just my lousy luck to be extra to form up my own formula...buang! paper was a flunk lo...have to take it next sem again...if fail again jiu drop out le...now only hoping maths, mct and pauto will all pass so next sem abit more relax...not wanting to stay back cuz of this few modules...blame myself for not studying hard for CA....been too blinded with other stuffs didnt concentrate on studies, if only i concentrate abit more on studies then i wont have so much free time to think of rubbish last time...everyday diao er lang dang...daydreaming all the time....now face up with so many probs without any solutions....just giving up isnt what i shd do, shd fight for it but no idea where to start from...tried picking up myself time to time...but damm got pulled down again...nvm lo just try again, parts and parcel of life ma...just hope next sem concentrate more of dynamics ba....the rest leave it to results release ba...lucky tp got sup not like other poly...if in other poly i think im only 1.2 now...gonna take me forever to get a diploma in other poly....what a joke...nitez~

wahaha....so many days nv blog le...so many days passes le...everyday so different...lets start from wed ba....wed went out with the bball gang to eat tian tian steamboat located at bugis there...purpose was to celebrate Mr Tan Yi Hua bday...started eating at 8pm and ended ard 11plus....after that me, leo, garry, mak and zm headed home first cuz we had something on the next day. Me and garry had our maths sup paper unfortunately which caught us unguard with the release of the exam date....so we decided to burn the midnight oil for the maths paper with an extra MCT paper...Damm it! 2 paper but we know we have no choice....so i went home got my stuffs and went to mac to meet up with garry to study...very tired though but we manage to stay awake through the night studying...of course we went for both papers too which was on thursday...my training day Zzz....after the paper went home to slp suppose to wake up for training but overslept....too tired =X...
Friday...forgot what i did =P...oh yeah rmb le! friday morning woke up jiu accompany botak to Nokia care located at CS to update his phone and some repairs ba...got to be his collector cuz thinking the phone might be ready on that day...after that jiu went for a hair cut...the last hair cut was abt 2mths ago? or 3? just know that the last hair cut was to cut away some unhappy memories ba =)....then at night went to mak house to print some notes for my study on the upcoming sup paper....played with brother and ask him wonder if he rmbs u? he did but then whats the point? haiz....=) after that jiu went home to slp le cuz sat morning got training again ='(
Saturday...woot woke up at 8.00, did some wash up then head off to central park...training was damm tough...didnt expect that ill be the first to die out....damm it! was the first time i gave up on it...damm! hated myself for not perserving it till the end...maybe due to the lack of water and sleep but its just an excuses...afterall it ties down all to ur determination....my determination all die out long ago...time to search them back again....well after that went home to slp then went down to collect botak phone from Nokia Care...collect le jiu went down to bedok reservoir to pass him back his phone and as well help him clear up his stall...help him wash the plates and everything...but i cut myself a cut...got cut by the chopper on my right hand, middle finger right finger....not sure whats the finger called but thats how i describe it ba...bleed quite alot but then heck ba...finish washing le jiu head home and slp le...today is Sunday...wake up at 8.30 again Zzz....cuz botak wanna go SBC watch the Loser Bracket matches....nobody free to go with him so i accompanied him....Zzz...some matches was good some matches was boring to death...spend almost half the day at there damm bored...reach home ard 8plus had a take away murtabak....bath finish le now free to blog le =P tml got to work liao...tues and wed got paper...jialat le....dunno how to plan my schedule le....dunno how to plan jiu dun plan ba =D...
nowadays always seeing ppl holding their gf hands, i felt so envious of them...if only i had a match now and could bring my gf along with it...well thats only a IF =)...been dreaming of you lately alot....dunno why but just...i still cant forget u...forgive me ='( nitez~
wa ytd talk till 6am in the morning at mac with garry and botak....talk some craps at there abt childhood life and stuffs....but that doesnt really matter ba....today i read a novel by the title "You Are Here" a book by Low Kay Hwa. He also wrote other books like "I Believe You" well at first i thought the story has a happy ending but guess what? the ending was a sad one...it was a sad story after reading it...fairy tales always have this sayings: "Once A Upon A Time, A Boy Meet A Girl, Fall In Love With The Girl, And They Live Happily Ever After" but this is different. Its: "Once A Upon A Time, A Boy Meet A Girl, Fall In Love With The Girl, And In The End, The Girl Dies" well its a story but i got impacted by it very deeply. The story plot was written that this boy and girl knew each other from primary sch and their r/s lasted till the age of 22. But the problem with this girl is that she had a mental problem when she suffer a betrayed from her boyfriend. She began to sink back her age year by year every 2weeks. But somehow the guy did not leave her and took care of her through out this period. But weeks ltr when the gal was 8years old, he could no longer take the stress thus he leave the girl at a isolated place. But minutes ltr he went back to look for her, but when he managed to find her, the girl met with an accident infront of his eyes...well a sad ending, the girl died even though their love held on so strong...just went the gal recovery from her memories, she died...very sad ending...ought to read the book, its called You Are Here...very nice story after all...if only love could held on so strong for me...IF but i doubt this kind of things happen....all good things come to an end...not all couples always have a happy ending...thats very sad ='( nitez! nth much to talk abt le ba...
skip driving on friday cuz was raining and too tired to go for it...did nth on that particular day except at night went to find cherly and borrowed 2 novel from her and meet fabian as i promised him on thursday...wasted $104 on driving le....sianz...think abt it very heartpain...but dun think too much ba...ytd went to sbc watch wai wei...see liao even more pek chek =P? =X? =(? ='(? which emo to put im thinking....west won against chua chu kang, central lost to tampines east...nth to say...by right can play for central de expose to more experience competition...but then dun have the chance....suah! nvm aim for next year ba...aint really ready for bball yet i notice myself...spend the whole day at sbc then after that went to bedok there to help yj pack botak food stall....business wasnt that bad and we end up packing the stall at 2plus then went down to find a injured player from the earlier match...his lips got hooked by fingernail i think and his lips got tore apart i believe....went to the hospital and has 6 stitches on his lips now...find it quite unlucky for him cuz first time play wai wei got this kind of disaster le =X somemore his lips got stitched le lo sure will leave a scar one....hope he is all right ba...anyway reach home and slept at 5am and woke up at 9.30 am this morning cuz gotta go 840 play bball...jialat ar....thinking of ways to improve my mistakes....lucky havent go wai wei yet else im finished....then after playing went to 844 eat breakfast cum lunch....reach home slp le =P slept at 3.30 after reading abit of a novel then woke up at 8.30 like that....spend another day doing nth le....sup paper coming soon le...hope can pass most of the sup paper else i think drop out ba....dun even have the motivation to study anymore....think think...thinking in deep thoughts....nitez~
today driving was good...hmm but idiot!!!! waste my 2 hours again...went down early and PDL machine is still spoiled!! damm it....waste my time lo....went down at 8.30 leh when my lesson starts at 10.20....but good la...manage to book my tp...on the 5th of dec...saw fabian gf too ^_^ pass her tp lo...so envious of it lo...can drive car le...now i still stuck in circuit when im suppose to go on the road....stupid!! without PDL is so jialat lo...everything do in circuit...sianz...if worst come to worst have to go down bukit batok take the PDL....not sure if i shd head there for it...thinking abt it....well for some reasons...yah....skip that part ba =)....anyway suppose to go meet fabian de but i fly his plane again...sry ar bro didnt mean too de....tml i confirm do it ba...friday shdnt be a problem....tml got driving again...TMD!!! bo PDL do in circuit when i finish module 1 le....sianz ar!!! T_T circuit everyday same thing lo...just turn and turn and turn....hope to learn parking too....cuz i believe im very weak at parking....sianz liao....4sup paper for me....dun plan to work anymore...hope i can aleast pass some sup paper so i dun have to stay till so jialat, but if suay suay failed the sup stayed for 1 more sem for same sub, fail the sub then ill be able to join yj all go army le...dunno ba...just work hard for 2weeks from now hoping i can change some facts abt it...else jialat....hope tml PDL is okay...if not im gonna kill the machine le....waste abt $250 inside stupid circuit...damm heart pain...but no choice becuz of my laziness thats y im still in circuit now....basketball skills still got more rooms to improve....today SUCKS! jialat ar...haiz...nitez~
today released results lo! received it through sms while i was driving in the circuit....-_-" CIRCUIT AGAIN!? cuz the PDL machine was ready yet...WASNT READY YET? wth...its was already fixed lo...kns call the operator tell me still down, make me waste 1 lesson money stay inside circuit...kns...but nvm la circuit also can learn alot of stuffs, learn free wheeling, engine break, clutch control and plenty of stuffs...tml gotta wake up early morning to go get my PDL so i can go out to road tml ^_^hope no lang ga =X always get engine stalled cuz forget when breaking to a stop must depress clutch....today went to visit my auntie new office which is 1 floor above her current lvl -_-"....quite nice done seems to be almost the same as the current office but got more colour instead...look more like a office now ba =D...anyway tml gotta work at harvy norman at parkway le, cant work for my auntie liao...at first dun wanna work de cuz got my results through sms....as expected maths and pod sup paper...but didnt expect MCT AND PAUTO also sup...wth...gotta go for 4 sup sianz...wat to do? stupid ma...this sem GPA drop again from 1.38 drop to 1.14...hope to pass my maths and pod aleast...if possible all pass ba...then next sem can relax no need to repeat any subject cuz sianz ar...anyway tml work at harvy norman see how lo...i sure cannot commit de...tmd wanna rush the next 2weeks study if i can cover for as many subject as i can...dun wanna disappoint my dad and mum but i always did that...nitez~
wa today driving kena say by the instructor till sianz sianz...no mood to drive becuz couldnt get my PDL even when i went there 2 hours earlier b4 my lesson cuz the stupid machine is down...damm it...counldnt go out to road sianz....stay in circuit like damm noob sia =X then after done with the PDL testes, i went down to register for more lesson then sit outside for 1hour plus b4 my lesson starts....Zzz....then lesson start le kena till even more sianz...after lesson jiu head home lo....then ard 7.45 went to 940 play bball, been so long since i last touch bball =P feels good feels nice aleast i know i still love bball....play few matches of 4v4 manage to win some, but lose also....sianz...tml have to work le. Working for my auntie, doing nokia design de, send brochures and phone dummies to shops...yawnz...basically do all the hard chores lo...but bo bian have to keep my bank acc got money else learning finish driving jiu bo lui le...cannot cannot leave my bank flatted =P...think have to wake up at 8.30 le yawnz...sianz have to work but no choice la...money money money...going broke soon =P nitez~
very lazy to blog ar...cuz been working for the past 5days....working at suntec selling water filters...this time sales is very good...over take leo in elife...manage to sell 5? but well lucky ba...eat alot at the food fair, make new friend too and most impt, happy working with the dealers...this time we manage to play ard with the pricing which makes sales easier...have quite alot of fun working with leo cuz got see pua cai =X lol....anyway ytd had driving...2nd lesson le, hand and leg coordination is getting better. last time cannot multi task de me now have to concentrate on the road, have to shift gear and steering wheels and have to step on the pedals, first time in my life so much multi tasking....but its good ba, aleast i can do many things at one go ba...my legs are really aching...but getting the money was worth it after all, have to earn for my driving lesson and my spending, cant always relay on my parents anymore...thats abt all ba, go watch anime le...nitez~
today make a bloody fool out of myself...cant believe that im thinking of myself so well that others talk abt me...what a joke....anyway this morning went to work with not a very happy attitude becuz of what happen last night...a fought with my brother...well things got better only after reaching the booth in suntec exhibition hall cuz i tend to get this matter of my mind ba...but thats only awhile...the punch i gave to my brother was such a unreasonable one...haiz...i shd have tolerate more than 3,4 punches b4 landing my blow, causing his nose to bleed...its all my fault ba...thinking through the night, what am i good at? studies? work? fighting? sports? cant seems to find a answer...my brother was right, i was a good for nth in his eyes...but...nvm =)...just hope his nose get better from the blow...well went to work and stand the whole day....now both legs aching le hoping tml can still step on the paddle cuz driving in circuit...had quite alot of food at the food fair...nice food though but not as great in my taste bud...cant seems to get out of the shadow that im have been carrying all night...thats was when i landed the punch and my brother move back a few steps...im still thinking why did i do it? he is my brother afterall...why cant i take it? i only suffer a few scratches thats all i had and i had landed a blow on him....what have i done? i hate myself for doing that man...i hate it....i really hate myself...
damm it! ITS A FUKING DAY TODAY! fuk it man....whats wrong with my life? wtf has gone wrong? why cant i control my temper!!!!! WHY THE FUKING ME!!!! why me? WHY!!!! damm it man...why cant i control my temper? FUK ME MAN! im useless born out to be stupid, to be a hooligan! for god sake if u r unhappy with me heaven then dun born me out! why do u born me out to suffer? for fuking sake u make me and brother quarrel over a psp and for fuking sake why dun u kill me pls! damm it! just becuz i back slide on u, i deny u, u gotta do this to me? then come kill me then fuk this life man, i got enough of this fuking nonsense....kill me if u really exist then! come! damm it...why did u make me and him quarrel? just over a psp? but what got it worst is we got into a fight...why me? why didnt u let him know me out? for fuking reasons he doesnt know me out with 3 or 4 punches and why for fuking reasons u let him hit him right in the nose with 1 punch? IT FUKING BLEED U KNOW?! ITS PAINFUL U KNOW U STUPID FUKING ASSHOLE!! why did u do that?! for fuking reasons is fun to see ppl fighting? FUK U MAN! if u r unhappy with me, deal with me alone, leave my family alone! u fuking get this...quit making me hate u for all this reasons....damm it....u know how guilty i felt now? why didnt u let me aim his face? why he nose? WHY!!! for what fucking reasons i did today? i just went to work come home abt to slp and u give me this fuking nonsense? fuk u man! come to me if u have any problems....damm u...im fuking pissed off now...damm it....
feeling rather bad today...knowing some facts and truth which i came up with...anyway didnt have a great start during the day, nth much happen just dun feel happy...went to get wh present ltr on with yj, leo and mk...bought a ezy bottle which can keep the water cold with the gel inside...bought it in toys'r'us then follow by a shirt....feeling very moody of all but today...damm it...tml gonna work at suntec le hall 404...for the international food fair...shd know i shd nv pick up this job...its gonna affect me tough ba...but what to do...i still cant run from suntec, run for now but i cant run away from it forever...maybe its good ba...good for waking me up, slap me in the face or whatever....just get this emo shit out of my life cuz i nv wanna feel like this again...never will i believe in such shit again...damm it...been telling myself to let it go let it go...but it aint getting no where...and in every blog is the same old emo shit stuffs...im tired of it, im tired of fighting, a winner is one who nv quits but when was i ever a winner when i nv quit? nv was i a winner even though i didnt give up cuz its others who deminish my dreams, ppl who r selfish and nv think for others espically in my bball life....what they do is deminish it for me...damm it i hate LOSING cant u guys see it? get a life if u guys aint interested in bball cuz i AM! dun ever drag me down with ur losing scores becuz u guys played more than me assholes! get better to prove to me u deserved this jersey instead of me sitting in the bench and watching u assholes losing the game...i believe i can do much better than u assholes....damm it...forget it...enough of blaming others time to do self reflection...i aint better myself anyway...fuck...nitez~
so many days bo blog le....Zzz....strange feelings arouse in me, in my stomach day by day, mind is always going on with stuffs and stuffs...damm man...everyday quarrel quarrel quarrel....damm think i like quarrel? FUK IT MAN! think nice meh? cb...everyday doing sai kang and stuffs tmd! cb la....spoil mood to blog le la...tmd...who really knows what going on...nvm still have to blog...anyway things arent going that good again ba....boring blog...always same old stuffs going on, life is nv fair well nv fair for me though....only know how to complain? what abt good times? did i praise it? i still complain...damm ill nv be satisfy with life, why? becuz im a fuk up loser...damm it! forget it...nitez!

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