Lonely Valentine
Monday, February 14, 2005, 8:54 PM
Today was valentine's time day. seeing all my bros with their partner this make me even think more abt last year. it makes me think abt last year while it was a saturday when we went to have seoul garden for our celebration. haiz....during recess drop a few drops of tears le but worth it ma? will it change her heart back? will she know or will she care? haiz...why must this befall on me? i just dun want it to end so early. even if it was ending can it aleast let me have a heart for me to prepare things to happen cuz it all happen to sudden and wad worst is i blew up my own chance! my plan backfire and its game over for me!! i cant take it anymore. everynight have to hide up and cry, dun wish to let anyone c my tears but today i almost but good thing is i manage to control it. haiz....why? why? cant she give me a chance or only can i let out my feelings on my dear friend, my blog. haiz...
have i really forgotten her?
Sunday, February 13, 2005, 11:53 PM
Today my bro told me that cindy saw her ard the north area. at first i thought it was all right but here comes the real problems. my godsis anna call me n told me the same thing adding that cindy told her she dress until very not decent. this arouse my feelings, it gives me a feeling that she has become worst n anna add on telling me that maybe she has mixed with the wrong company. then i rmb that she doesnt have any friends in school anymore. now i dunno have i really gotten for her but the thing in my head going on n on is shd i hate her or shd i pity her. hate her is to make me forget for leaving me so i can carry on but pity her is becuz of wad she has become n has no friends in school. haiz...i become so confuse msg her but she doesnt reply. seems like me n her is really bu ke neng le but still im holding on to a feeling that i use to have for her. haiz....wad shd i do? can anyone tell me? usually the advice is forget her. but its not i dun want, its i cant....its too painful if not some accident happen to me make me lost my memories ba that would be a better way.
useless me
Monday, February 07, 2005, 8:32 PM
haiz...today a sad day though its chinese new year...hmmm when out to eat with my friends at first. we were suppose to eat long john silver but then somethings happen n due to the long queue thus we make out U turn n head for macdonald. what really happen was that i just took a glance at this guy who was staring at me just outside LJS. when i enter LJS, he came after me n look for my trouble. at this point of time i wanted to fight back...but deep down inside of me, it gave me a diff meaning. i thought of using what i have learn to do it but its too dangerous cuz if i make a mistake, a life could have ended today. haiz...now then i know, the inside me is a uselesss me who only knows how to talk but when it come to real action, its like 10% to 100% meaning that only part of it is fighting inside of me. haiz...wad a suay day. now im being very very unlucky since the beginning of this year, have i lost my lucky star or am i still waiting for it or u r my luckly star? if you're one, and have left me far away and wish to come back, pls do. cuz i really need u by my side to guide me and give me good luck in everything i do. and pls god or whoever, pls change my luck now!! and i want it now!!
To Think I Have Been Treated This Way
Sunday, February 06, 2005, 5:39 AM
Haiz...to think i have been there for this guy. and in the end how he treat me? not only to me but to my another friend also. to think i have help him all this way and this is the way he treat me. he agreed to go out with me the next day but when i call him, he told me he not free in the afternoon but actually he was at home using computer. nvm...forget it, next he agree to go to a tournament with my friend but last minute he back out, making my friend dragged me into helping him to but im too lazy thus i didnt help him. wad a friend this guy was, a promise shd always be a promise but then, he broke it. so now how am i going to be there for him again since he did this to us. even my friend try to help him pass his private n level by collecting worksheet for him to do as revision but in the end, this was the treatment we get from him. since we r treated this way, i dun see a need to rely on each other anymore. we r getting a treatment for him this way, dun blame me for treating him this way too. since they make me be a bad guy, i shd be one to let him c.
So many things have happen
Thursday, February 03, 2005, 11:55 PM
For just less than 1mth, so many things have happen. i kana pour by soya bean, sparing in school toliet, lose ez-link card and be a counselor? first time in my life, life bring so suay for me. but wad really makes me happy was that i was able to gather with all my bros on a wednesday night having dinner together. its like a feeling we have long lost it and finally we got it back again. its like something u have lost but now its back to you. ke shi, shi duan zhan de. haiz...lose match pratically everything in my eyes seems to be tearing apart infront of me. haiz...its life really gonna always be this way for me? im really tired of life but im not gonna give up cuz i know if god really wanna play with my life, i will make sure i live through it cuz i believe there is sweetness in the end and somebody to brighten up my life. who will it be im not sure but im sure to choose my own path and own way out. so therefore, i wanna be a guy with no feelings till the day i make my step out of a world of my own.
